Beautiful Chp. 9

~*~Beautiful~*~

Ben and Kevin were laying on the couch in Kevin's apartment. The TV was on, volume turned down to a dull murmur, but neither boys were watching it. In fact, Kevin was dozing off.

A week and a half ago, Ben told his cousin and his boyfriend all that had happened the night he was raped. He…actually, he did feel better. He wasn't alone in this anymore. Maybe he could talk to the girl from before?

"Maybe.." Ben mused aloud. Beneath him, Kevin's body jolted as he groggily mumbled, "Hmm? Wazzit? I ain't sleepin'…" Ben smiled. For the first time in a long time, he felt, well, not exceedingly happy, but happier than he'd been in a very long time.

"Maybe…" Ben repeated, sitting up and straddling his boyfriend. Kevin rubbed his eyes and blinked up at him.

"What chu thinkin' 'bout, Benji?" he asked.

Very bluntly, Ben said, "Let's have sex."

And, very intelligently, Kevin responded with, "…huh?"

"Let's have sex, Kevin," Ben repeated. "C'mon." Kevin frowned, mouth opening and closing with no words escaping. Eventually, Kevin shook his head. Ben frowned, suddenly wondering if this was such a good idea.

"I don't have any diseases," Ben said. "The doctor said so--I have papers."

"I never thought you had anything, Ben," Kevin said, sitting up. Ben sat back, onto the couch, facing Kevin. The dark haired male continued. "I think I know what you're trying to do."

"Oh?"

"Yes, Ben, you're trying to replace bad memories with good ones."

"No, that's…that's not what I'm trying to do."

"I think it is, Ben. And it's not gonna work--"

"How do you know?" Ben interrupted. Kevin stopped, giving Ben a confused look.

"What?"

"How do you know it won't work?  How will I know if you don't let me try?" Ben pressed. Kevin's frown deepened, his brown furrowing. If there was one thing he didn't like, it was being pressured into doing something he didn't want to do.

"Ben," he said warningly. The smaller boy shrunk back, knowing he'd crossed a line. To Kevin, he looked just like a puppy that had been scolded for stealing a bite of human food. "Look, Benji," he said softly. "why don't you tell me the real reason you want to have sex with me. And I mean the /real/ reason." There was a long pregnant pause, and Kevin began thinking that Ben wasn't going to answer.

"I just…" Ben started. "I don't want to be scared anymore, Kevin. I want to, well, I want to face my fears." Greens eyes nervously met brown ones. "I want to do it with someone I really trust." Ben leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Kevin's broad shoulders and placing a chaste kiss on his thin lips. "I want to do it with /you/, Kevin. I want to have sex with you."

The room was silent, save for the TV's low volume. Ban patiently--and nervously-- waited for Kevin's answer. The brutish teen in question was franticly trying to come up with one. /Do I want to have sex with Ben?/ He asked himself. /Well yeah, of course! But what if I hurt him? Scare him away?/ He sighed. /I don't know what I'd do if that happened./

Ben, assuming the sigh was going to be followed up by a 'no' and also noting the far away look Kevin got in his eyes, arched his brow in worry. "Kev?" he asked softly. "You okay?" Kevin blinked, looking Ben in the eyes, and smiled.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he said. Ben smiled in return. "And…"Kevin continued. "To answer your question…Yes, Ben. I want to have sex with you too."

Quietly, the two teens walked, hand-in-hand, into Kevin's bedroom, the door closing behind them with a soft 'click'.